Bessrilljab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, dishonourable frog.

Bessrilljab created the Sunflower Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bessrilljab, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bessrilljab, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Bessrilljab's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Bessrilljab's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from bone.

2. Never write about nebulae.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics near nematodes while wearing brown jumpers and balancing eight copper spheres on your neck.

5. Never paint your head green.