Sogteenvil is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, egotistical wyrm.

Sogteenvil created the Sun eight million years ago.

If you believe in Sogteenvil, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sogteenvil, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Sogteenvil's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Sogteenvil's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from clay.

2. Do not name children after manatees.

3. Always share nuts with strangers, but never with nematodes.

4. Never gather six doves in one place.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.