Viglamhatwip is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, uncaring hydra.

Viglamhatwip created dark energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Viglamhatwip, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Viglamhatwip, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Viglamhatwip's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Viglamhatwip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Retreat if seven eagles approach from the north.

4. You must never eat rice.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.