Cembogarf is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, astonishing fish.

Cembogarf created a top quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cembogarf, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cembogarf, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Cembogarf's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Cembogarf's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not consume corn at dawn.

3. Always look after injured hamsters.

4. Always wear mauve.

5. Never talk about fire.