Parkbegwab Zakbutsak Flamwitquim is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, smart mink.

Parkbegwab Zakbutsak Flamwitquim created silver two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkbegwab Zakbutsak Flamwitquim, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Parkbegwab Zakbutsak Flamwitquim, it will cry a lot.

Parkbegwab Zakbutsak Flamwitquim's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Parkbegwab Zakbutsak Flamwitquim's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the east during autumn.

2. Never leap in winter.

3. Never speak the names of galaxies aloud.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Parkbegwab Zakbutsak Flamwitquim.

5. Never mention seals.