Flowipflisham is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, boastful alligator.

Flowipflisham created dark energy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flowipflisham, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flowipflisham, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Flowipflisham's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Flowipflisham's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always treat gulls with great respect.

3. Always wear plain boots during rituals.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.