Cinqueegfed is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unfair bat.

Cinqueegfed created the planet Jupiter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cinqueegfed, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cinqueegfed, he will turn you into a puffin.

Cinqueegfed's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Cinqueegfed's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove skirts before touching silicon.

2. Always store tomatoes above ground.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Never eat green fruit.