Spagbatnart is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, impressive naga.

Spagbatnart created the Sun four billion years ago.

If you believe in Spagbatnart, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Spagbatnart, he will try to impress you with trees.

Spagbatnart's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Spagbatnart's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics near snakes while wearing purple stockings and balancing eight silver spheres on your chest.

2. Do not gather at towers at midnight.

3. Always treat seals with great respect.

4. Never eat rice.

5. Never speak at dawn.