Dintipnib is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, competent monkey.

Dintipnib created the planet Saturn nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dintipnib, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dintipnib, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Dintipnib's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Dintipnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch ash while blessed.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.

5. Do not record signs concerning moons.