Gilcipzag is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, self-assured dingo.

Gilcipzag created a quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Gilcipzag, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gilcipzag, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Gilcipzag's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Gilcipzag's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain shirts during rituals.

2. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never feed turnips to moths while wearing skirts.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching platinum.