Betcebhub is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, fussy monkey.

Betcebhub created bats six billion years ago.

If you believe in Betcebhub, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Betcebhub, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Betcebhub's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Betcebhub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chant in public.

2. Never wear skirts.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Never allow tapirs to witness sacred rites.

5. Always help snails in need.