Tagvidbat is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, grumpy deer.

Tagvidbat created a bottom quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tagvidbat, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tagvidbat, he will send minions to preach to you.

Tagvidbat's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Tagvidbat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

2. Never feed garlic to swans while wearing tights.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not prepare figs while wearing coats.

5. Learn four new languages a year.