Mintarweg is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, intelligent alligator.

Mintarweg created life eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Mintarweg, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Mintarweg, he will turn you into a rat.

Mintarweg's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Mintarweg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never stain your neck with purple.

3. Mintarweg loves goats, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not study deoxyribonucleic acid on holy days.