Betlogpad is a god.

It takes the form of a large, unselfish mink.

Betlogpad created dark energy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Betlogpad, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Betlogpad, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Betlogpad's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Betlogpad's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Betlogpad.

2. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Betlogpad in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never wear coats.

4. Learn six new languages a year.

5. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.