Witquimkon is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, grumpy wren.

Witquimkon created humankind seven million years ago.

If you believe in Witquimkon, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Witquimkon, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Witquimkon's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Witquimkon's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Witquimkon.

2. Never discuss photosynthesis in public assemblies.

3. Heed all dreams.

4. Never speak of balance in the presence of priests.

5. Always look after injured snails.