Spagcensis is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, merciful parrot.

Spagcensis created light six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagcensis, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Spagcensis, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Spagcensis' most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Spagcensis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about limes.

2. Mites are not to be trusted.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Retreat if three pigs approach from the west.

5. Feed all hungry squirrels.