Flapbasscim is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, quiet rat.

Flapbasscim created a Higgs boson eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Flapbasscim, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Flapbasscim, he will torture you forever.

Flapbasscim's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Flapbasscim's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Flapbasscim in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Always help eagles in need.

4. Never adorn your hands with violet markings.

5. Do not resist fate.