Tigzanwot is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, pitiless chinchilla.

Tigzanwot created the planet Venus five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tigzanwot, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tigzanwot, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Tigzanwot's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Tigzanwot's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not speak of fluid mechanics near sacred fires.

3. Always make sure there are no geese in a room before entering it.

4. Do not jump at forests.

5. Do not travel during summer.