Xucfotyatt is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, emotional otter.

Xucfotyatt created a bottom quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Xucfotyatt, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Xucfotyatt, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Xucfotyatt's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Xucfotyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist balance.

2. Do not wear fawn clothing.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not chop down trees.