Xenjadbimbitgudrull is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, wise scorpion.

Xenjadbimbitgudrull created humankind four million years ago.

If you believe in Xenjadbimbitgudrull, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Xenjadbimbitgudrull, it will turn you into a mouse.

Xenjadbimbitgudrull's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Xenjadbimbitgudrull's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove trousers before entering holy places.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Always act with purity.

4. Never feed carrots to gulls while wearing green skirts.

5. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.