Lognarfut is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, vain dugong.

Lognarfut created a top quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lognarfut, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lognarfut, she will turn you into a frog.

Lognarfut's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Lognarfut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from carbon.

2. Never think about photosynthesis.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics near turtles while wearing orange tights.

4. Run away from black birds, for they are unholy.

5. Never pour water over plants.