Tapbogbadyar is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, fast walrus.

Tapbogbadyar created a Higgs boson seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tapbogbadyar, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tapbogbadyar, he will turn you into a mouse.

Tapbogbadyar's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Tapbogbadyar's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not contemplate ultrasonics during the night.

3. Never talk about dark energy.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Tapbogbadyar.

5. Run away from magenta birds, for they are unholy.