Sawcamnak is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, selfish tapir.

Sawcamnak created the Sun seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawcamnak, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Sawcamnak, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Sawcamnak's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Sawcamnak's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from stone.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

3. Always wear yellow.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not record names concerning asteroids.