Vegcussladquill is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, cheerful elephant.

Vegcussladquill created a bottom quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vegcussladquill, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vegcussladquill, he will laugh at you.

Vegcussladquill's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Vegcussladquill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce at forests.

2. Run away if nine bats approach from the west.

3. Never mark doors with purple.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Pray only in darkness.