Bafdapbest is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, all-powerful jaguar.

Bafdapbest created parasitic wasps five million years ago.

If you believe in Bafdapbest, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bafdapbest, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bafdapbest's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Bafdapbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss the inheritance of acquired characteristics in public assemblies.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not gather at walls at midday.

4. Never record secrets.

5. Do not wear shorts marked with cyan.