Ladwanrak is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, self-confident dingo.

Ladwanrak created the Milkyway three billion years ago.

If you believe in Ladwanrak, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ladwanrak, it will jump up and down on your head.

Ladwanrak's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Ladwanrak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about manatees.

2. Never paint your arms turquoise.

3. Always help sick snails.

4. Ladwanrak loves birds, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not wear brown clothing.