Pomyatbun is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, able tapir.

Pomyatbun created silver seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pomyatbun, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Pomyatbun, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Pomyatbun's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Pomyatbun's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove jumpers before entering holy places.

2. Rats are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never chant while facing south.

4. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

5. Always maintain purity during holy days.