Beptengess is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, self-confident goat.

Beptengess created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Beptengess, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Beptengess, he will ignore you.

Beptengess' most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Beptengess' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics near capybaras while wearing fawn skirts.

2. Never wear jumpers.

3. Never go into magenta rooms.

4. Always obey Beptengess' priests.

5. Always wear mauve.