Cadnigomtkadbess is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, pitiless grasshopper.

Cadnigomtkadbess created life twelve years ago.

If you believe in Cadnigomtkadbess, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cadnigomtkadbess, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Cadnigomtkadbess' most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Cadnigomtkadbess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always store beans above ground.

3. Shun those given to sloth.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching gold.

5. Never paint your chest turquoise.