Quamfodfar is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, humorless jackal.

Quamfodfar created the Whirlpool Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamfodfar, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quamfodfar, it will turn you into a duck.

Quamfodfar's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Quamfodfar's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of planets aloud.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. You must pray to Quamfodfar seven times a day.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Never curse while facing south.