Bomtikbarnbempasfly is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, uncaring seal.

Bomtikbarnbempasfly created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bomtikbarnbempasfly, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bomtikbarnbempasfly, he will think nothing of it.

Bomtikbarnbempasfly's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Bomtikbarnbempasfly's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about archaea.

2. Erect a large silver sculpture of Bomtikbarnbempasfly on top of all buildings.

3. Do not hurt gulls.

4. Run away if eight whales approach from the south.

5. Worship no other gods but Bomtikbarnbempasfly.