Ladlap is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, blissful dove.

Ladlap created the universe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ladlap, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ladlap, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Ladlap's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Ladlap's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your head before prayer.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Never hop in holy places.

4. Do not prepare spinach while filled with joy.

5. Always share gooseberries with strangers, but never with snails.