Toffummeg Tunflabcin is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, passionate hedgehog.

Toffummeg Tunflabcin created the Sombrero Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Toffummeg Tunflabcin, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Toffummeg Tunflabcin, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Toffummeg Tunflabcin's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Toffummeg Tunflabcin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics near foxes while wearing cyan hats and balancing nine titanium spheres on your chest.

2. Never speak of order in the presence of strangers.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not eat bread.

5. Never mark doors with brown.