Flammabhap is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, competent octopus.

Flammabhap created the Tadpole Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flammabhap, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flammabhap, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Flammabhap's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Flammabhap's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Heed all visions.

3. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

4. Do not sprint in public.

5. Always help sick mites.