Zimtikteen is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, two-faced lizard.

Zimtikteen created an up quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimtikteen, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zimtikteen, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Zimtikteen's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Zimtikteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

2. Never allow pigs to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Never chant while facing west.

4. Never talk about mites.

5. Never talk about fire.