Jonhamfit is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, deceitful turtle.

Jonhamfit created snails two years ago.

If you believe in Jonhamfit, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jonhamfit, it will manifest in front of you.

Jonhamfit's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Jonhamfit's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry horses.

2. Never think about dwarf planets.

3. Never think ill of sick geese.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Hide if four whales approach from the east.