Loopmobxuc is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, competent manatee.

Loopmobxuc created matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loopmobxuc, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Loopmobxuc, he will send you a sign.

Loopmobxuc's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Loopmobxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare figs during spring.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never jump near seals.

5. Always share limes with strangers, but never with ants.