Tofsawflow is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, effective wyrm.

Tofsawflow created a strange quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofsawflow, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tofsawflow, she will turn you into a sheep.

Tofsawflow's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Tofsawflow's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of names.

2. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Tofsawflow in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

4. Never fashion tools from ash.

5. Always wash your face before prayer.