Ruttwadzig is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, selfish jaguar.

Ruttwadzig created time and space five million years ago.

If you believe in Ruttwadzig, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ruttwadzig, he will remove you from existence.

Ruttwadzig's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Ruttwadzig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. You must never eat parsnips.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never eat green fruit.