Quagzakjat is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, awe-inspiring hamster.

Quagzakjat created the Black Eye Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagzakjat, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Quagzakjat, it will refuse to believe in you.

Quagzakjat's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Quagzakjat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about peanuts.

2. Do not fashion tools from zinc.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not speak of optics near sacred fires.

5. Never think about special relativity near hamsters while wearing indigo skirts and balancing seven silver spheres on your arms.