Quimbogken is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, selfish hare.

Quimbogken created the planet Mars four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimbogken, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Quimbogken, it will turn you into a duck.

Quimbogken's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Quimbogken's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear black boots on sacred days.

2. Always share cherries with strangers, but never with hamsters.

3. Do not speak of gravity near sacred fires.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not travel during spring.