Kikhaktarp is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, omniscient deer.

Kikhaktarp created bats six billion years ago.

If you believe in Kikhaktarp, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kikhaktarp, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Kikhaktarp's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Kikhaktarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Kikhaktarp in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never think about bacteria.

5. Do not eat lentils.