Tigmutkenfen is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, charitable crocodile.

Tigmutkenfen created the planet Venus eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigmutkenfen, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tigmutkenfen, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Tigmutkenfen's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Tigmutkenfen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never touch ash while blessed.

5. Never allow ducks to sleep beneath your roof.