Timgabweg is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, clever lobster.

Timgabweg created the Sol system nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Timgabweg, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Timgabweg, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Timgabweg's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Timgabweg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing in public.

2. Always help swans in need.

3. Never stain your legs with mauve.

4. Never chant near rats.

5. Always share parsnips with strangers, but never with snakes.