Kadwitgess is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, loving giraffe.

Kadwitgess created an up quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kadwitgess, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kadwitgess, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Kadwitgess' most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Kadwitgess' Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at dusk.

2. Never approach rivers carrying clay.

3. Run away if nine mites approach from the east.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

5. Never remain kneeling at midday.