Pogtanbaf is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, narcissistic crocodile.

Pogtanbaf created the planet Jupiter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pogtanbaf, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Pogtanbaf, she will ignore you.

Pogtanbaf's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Pogtanbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse blood with water.

2. Do not gather at doors at dusk.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never think about quantum field theory.