Sogkamfossbonk is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, dishonourable parrot.

Sogkamfossbonk created the cosmos seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Sogkamfossbonk, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Sogkamfossbonk, she will destroy your home planet.

Sogkamfossbonk's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Sogkamfossbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove stockings before touching silicon.

2. Never allow aardvarks to witness sacred rites.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never carve symbols of planets into wood.

5. Always stare at clouds.