Hakmutbem is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, all-powerful dragonfly.

Hakmutbem created the planet Mars four years ago.

If you believe in Hakmutbem, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hakmutbem, she will try to impress you with trees.

Hakmutbem's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Hakmutbem's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all dreams.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Never gather four great tits near wells.

4. Always wear red.

5. Always treat sheep with great respect.