Vennarcip is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, clever raccoon.

Vennarcip created bats three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vennarcip, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vennarcip, she will turn you into a rock.

Vennarcip's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Vennarcip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

2. Never think ill of sick capybaras.

3. Never prepare limes during autumn.

4. Always look after injured geese.

5. Vennarcip loves mites, so they must be honoured.