Cubsawzed Armbudtetti Gangofmif is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, passionate ferret.

Cubsawzed Armbudtetti Gangofmif created snails three million years ago.

If you believe in Cubsawzed Armbudtetti Gangofmif, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cubsawzed Armbudtetti Gangofmif, she will come to you in dreams.

Cubsawzed Armbudtetti Gangofmif's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Cubsawzed Armbudtetti Gangofmif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at towers at dawn.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always help sick manatees.

4. Never talk about seals.

5. Do not covet oxen.